Self Esteem Booster #14
I want to be...different. Not in the pants up to the armpits or pierced...um...body parts kind of different. I just want to be unique, somehow. But I'm not.
Oh, I know, "Everybody's special." As supermom says in the Incredibles. But sometimes I feel just like the kid, who responds, "That's just another way of saying nobody is."
I'm not very good at social interaction. Okay, so why did you choose to be a pastor? Well, I don't have the gift of small talk, but so what? I'm not extroverted. So what? I believe I have other gifts. Besides, who ever said I CHOSE to be a pastor.
It's not like I took one of those "You'd be really good at this kind of job" tests and it came up "zookeeper or pastor" and I thought, hmmm, I don't really like animals - people...well, they're easier to ignore, right? (According to one online poll, here's my top five jobs: Author, Graphics Designer, Teacher, Web Designer, Chef - not bad, considering I've done all those jobs, but never as a profession - except teacher...hmmm...also not bad considering it was less than ten questions....)
So, I'm a pastor. But I'm really not much different than the other 600 pastors in the conference... So, what unique gifts and abilities do I have to offer a congregation? Sigh...nope, not any too different than anybody else.
Look, I don't want to be rich, I don't want to be famous, I don't have this desperate need to be accepted, I don't define myself by what I do... But I'd like to be special...
And then I go home at the end of a really long and crappy day...and I am special. Sometimes Elie hugs me so hard I have to recover from it and Rachel almost always wants picked up and hugged and kissed. And Lori stops what she's doing to make sure I know that I'm special... And, it turns out, almost every day that's enough.
And today I feel special to God - not because God rained money on me or because I had some miraculous moment or vision - but there are some words that Jesus heard at His baptism that I think God says to all of us - and they're running through my head - and my heart - right now. "This is my little boy. I'm so proud of him."
So, yeah, maybe I am special...even when I don't feel like it...
Oh, I know, "Everybody's special." As supermom says in the Incredibles. But sometimes I feel just like the kid, who responds, "That's just another way of saying nobody is."
I'm not very good at social interaction. Okay, so why did you choose to be a pastor? Well, I don't have the gift of small talk, but so what? I'm not extroverted. So what? I believe I have other gifts. Besides, who ever said I CHOSE to be a pastor.
It's not like I took one of those "You'd be really good at this kind of job" tests and it came up "zookeeper or pastor" and I thought, hmmm, I don't really like animals - people...well, they're easier to ignore, right? (According to one online poll, here's my top five jobs: Author, Graphics Designer, Teacher, Web Designer, Chef - not bad, considering I've done all those jobs, but never as a profession - except teacher...hmmm...also not bad considering it was less than ten questions....)
So, I'm a pastor. But I'm really not much different than the other 600 pastors in the conference... So, what unique gifts and abilities do I have to offer a congregation? Sigh...nope, not any too different than anybody else.
Look, I don't want to be rich, I don't want to be famous, I don't have this desperate need to be accepted, I don't define myself by what I do... But I'd like to be special...
And then I go home at the end of a really long and crappy day...and I am special. Sometimes Elie hugs me so hard I have to recover from it and Rachel almost always wants picked up and hugged and kissed. And Lori stops what she's doing to make sure I know that I'm special... And, it turns out, almost every day that's enough.
And today I feel special to God - not because God rained money on me or because I had some miraculous moment or vision - but there are some words that Jesus heard at His baptism that I think God says to all of us - and they're running through my head - and my heart - right now. "This is my little boy. I'm so proud of him."
So, yeah, maybe I am special...even when I don't feel like it...
posted by Pastor Bill at 12:16 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home